The Night Before Christmas

    It’s funny how when you look back over the years remembering Christmas pasts, you rarely think about what you received. The treasured memories instead are of special traditions and family members.  I’ve been trying to decide which Christmas over the last 47 years has been my most meaningful and can’t peg it down to just one. There are so many traditions and people woven into this special day that it’s hard separating them by years.

     One tradition that is changing for my Mom’s side of the family is celebrating Christmas Eve at my Grandma’s house. For the last 45 years, excluding the year we went to visit my Dad’s family in upstate New York, I have made my way over the highway and through Laurens Road to Grandma’s. This is our first Christmas without her. Although we’ll still be gathering at the same home, it’s not hers anymore. My aunt has taken up residence there and Grandma will only be with us in spirit.

     My Uncle David will also be sorely missed. He passed away suddenly two months before Grandma. It will be difficult not hearing Grandma’s British accent declaring “Horsefeathers!” towards any tale she didn’t believe, or my uncle playing Christmas carols on his beloved guitar. These were common occurrences over the years. The sweet familiarity of family is a gift in itself.

     Since my siblings and I are now married and have children of our own, my parents started new delightful traditions at their home. After leaving Grandma’s house we head to Mom and Dad’s. Once there, we unload all of the gifts and begin stuffing everyone’s stockings before we settle in for a long night of fun.

     I know this may sound incredibly tortuous for most people, but we then begin opening gifts one at a time, starting from youngest to oldest. With 17 people now in our family, it takes quite some time. But we relish every moment.

     One of the first gifts the grandchildren open is pajamas from my parents, even a pair for my niece’s husband. They immediately run and change into them, laughing with delight as they run down the hall. Once settled back down after their fashion show, we start unwrapping again.

     Mom and Dad also give each child, their spouse and grandchild a special ornament to open that represents something about that person. It’s amusing to see what everyone receives each year. After all the presents are opened we make a mad dash to the stockings, unwrapping the little gifts all at once. It’s pure chaos, but so much fun.

     Once every package has been unwrapped, the kids sing a Christmas carol of their choice into a recordable book, but not before listening to all of the previous years’ songs first. It usually takes several attempts before they’re happy with the final product.

     Before everyone packs up to leave, we make sure each family has a photo taken on the den steps. Amidst groans from the husbands, we finally conclude the picture taking with a group shot of everyone. These photos have become precious to us over the years as we’re reminded how much our family has grown.

    When we head home around midnight, I breathe a sigh of sweet weariness that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, knowing we will share more precious moments with my husband’s family the next day. I know someday all of this will come to an end, only leaving distant memories. But I’m so grateful for these wonderful moments created with loved ones and look forward with hope toward even sweeter ones to come.

     Change is inevitable and sometimes painful, especially during the holidays. So as we approach yet another Christmas, let’s live in the moment and enjoy the gift of the special people God has placed in our life. Let’s put aside any differences we may have and praise God for the love He has given us through others. And if the change you are encountering this year is one that feels greater than you can bear, I pray especially that God will show His love to you in an amazing way; just as He did for each of us on that night of Jesus’ miraculous birth over 2000 years ago.

Merry Christmas! 

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror on the wall

Who’s the fairest of them all?

    

     This familiar prose spoken by Snow White’s wicked stepmother is something women are all too familiar with. We ask ourselves this question over and over again as we wonder if we’re good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough.

     I for one am sick of it. I’m sick of comparing myself to other’s standards because that’s what the world says I should do. I’m sick of the women, teens and even little girls I’m surrounded by struggling constantly, feeling hopeless to attain the perfect standard our society has set before us.

     When we look back over the decades and even centuries, we see beauty defined much differently than we do today. A century or two ago you were considered poor and undesirable if you were too thin. Now it’s all the rage. We walk by mirrors in department stores and are afraid to look at ourselves. We’re afraid we may not like what we see. But we look anyway and then are disappointed in the woman staring back at us.

     It makes me want to cry. We are enough. Christ designed each of us uniquely for a specific purpose. We aren’t supposed to look like clones. We are each beautiful in our own right and especially in God’s sight.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Fearfully can be translated with heart- felt intensity or great reverence. I can’t help but wonder if that’s from God’s point of view. I believe He feels heart-felt intensity as He creates each one of us. Wonderfully means unique, set apart or uniquely marvelous.

     How awesome is that? When God looks at us He doesn’t compare us to others. He knows He created us to look the way we do for a reason. It’s not just by happenstance that some girls seem to get all of the “good genes” while others feel they fall woefully short. None of us fall short. We are ALL beautiful no matter if we’re fat or skinny, have acne, stringy or frizzy hair, big thighs or big feet. God’s word does not say we are perfect, it says we are wonderful. And this side of heaven we can’t hope to attain more than that. I don’t know about you, but having someone call me wonderful sounds pretty great to me. I’ll take it, especially when it comes from my Creator.

     One thing we cannot know as we look at the seemingly perfect people is how they feel inside. They may look like they have it all on the outside, smiling and beautiful. But they also may be dying on the inside. They may think they don’t measure up or that others won’t love them if they stop trying to be perfect. The old adage is true, you cannot judge a book by it’s cover. As the younger generation says – don’t be hatin’- because you have no idea what they’re dealing with every day. Love everyone. After all, that’s what our Heavenly Father asks us to do.

     I want to end with a story I heard years ago. I believe it’s true, but can’t confirm it.

     There once was a little girl who had brown eyes. She always wished she had been born with blue eyes. It wasn’t just a passing thought because she thought about it frequently wondering why so many other girls were blessed with beautiful blue eyes while she was stuck with plain brown eyes.

     Years later she became a missionary among a people who had predominantly brown eyes. She found these people welcomed and trusted her because of her brown eyes. A blue-eyed missionary would have brought suspicion among them. She was then grateful God had blessed her with brown eyes so she could share Christ’s love with them.

     We may never know this side of heaven why we are made the way we are, but we should ask God for the ability to trust Him and continually look for His unique purpose for us.

     So, the next time you walk by one of those mirrors in a department store (or even in your home for that matter) try saying, “Thank you, God, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am your beautiful masterpiece.” Because you are.

For we are God’s workmanship, 

created in Christ Jesus to do good works,

which God prepared in advance for us to do. ~ Ephesians 2:10

     

Dancing in Vain

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.   ~  Psalm 20:7-8

     I trailed behind the kids as they entered the room, trying to keep up with the energetic group of boys I was in charge of this week for Kidz City, our version of children’s church. They clamored up on the risers, waiting to hear this Sunday’s Bible story from Mrs. Peggy. She reminded them of their story from last week about Elijah and the prophets of Baal. Asking the boys if they remembered what happened, they eagerly shared how God sent down fire and burned up Elijah’s altar after the prophets of Baal had danced for hours around their own altar with no response from their gods. (1 Kings 18)

     She then shared the Bible story about Elijah’s discouragement after this great event and how God had encouraged him by ministering to him through the angels.

     After she finished, a little boy named Jacob raised his hand. “Mrs. Peggy, why would those men believe those false gods could burn up their altar when they weren’t even real?”

     “Well,” Mrs. Peggy explained,” they put their trust in something that they believed was real. They loved these gods more than anything else so they believed their gods could do anything.”

     Another boy, Barron, raised his hand and asked if anyone could worship shoes. I had to chuckle. Anyone who’s heard of Sarah Jessica Parker in the TV show Sex and the City would know the answer to that question. Even though I never watched the show, I knew of her character’s obsession with expensive shoes.

     “If they think those shoes are more important than God, then yes, you can worship shoes.” she replied.

     They seemed satisfied with her answers and lined up at the door, ready to go have their snack.

     As I thought about these questions, I was amazed at the faith of a little child. Having been raised in Christian homes, these boys couldn’t understand how anyone would look to someone or something else for help. They know their God is powerful and believe He can do anything. They know who to ask when they have a need and believe He will take care of them.

     I was reminded of a series I recently watched on the History channel called “The Men Who Built America”. I was fascinated learning how four men, all but one from humble beginnings, literally built the industry of our country that made us financially great, through railroads, oil, steel and electricity. As the series delved into the lives of the famed Rockefeller, Vanderbilt, Carnegie and Morgan, it became clear what ruled their lives; money and power. These were ruthless men who would stop at nothing to accomplish their purpose. They each intended to become the most powerful and wealthiest man in America, and succeeded beyond what anyone could imagine.

     But at what cost? After years of conniving, wheeling and dealing and undercutting the competition, they began to see the uselessness of keeping so much for themselves. After all, they couldn't take it with them. And so they began giving it away in huge sums. However, that seemed to turn into a competition as well, seeing who could outdo the other in giving.

     I don’t know if these men finally understood at the end of their lives who the one true God is. I hope they did. I’m glad some of their fortune bettered our nation, but it’s sad to think they may have put their hope in that alone, just as the prophets of Baal did with their false gods.

     As this Christmas season fast approaches, we all need to be reminded of the only Hope we have for abundant and eternal life; Jesus Christ. No matter who or what the world tells us to put our trust in, we need to remember we can trust Him because He is the only one still in control. I pray those young boys in Kidz City will become strong men of faith who find their purpose by fulfilling the call God has on their lives, and always believing their God is big enough.

Are we faithfully asking ourselves if we are dancing in vain around the wrong gods?

A Special Blessing

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion. 

~ Psalm 103:2-4    

     Let me state the obvious…it’s Thanksgiving week. I have been following a lot of friends on facebook who are posting each day this month something they’re especially grateful for. I thought about joining them, but knew I probably wouldn’t follow through. So I decided to just enjoy everyone else’s posts and save myself the guilt of not accomplishing yet another task on my to-do list.

     But today I want to share something from my heart that I’m especially grateful for.

     A little over a year ago, on October 25^th, 2011, my dad had surgery for lung cancer. We didn’t know what the outcome would be and were very concerned because he’d smoked for 50 years prior to his quitting 12 years ago. (Yes, that means he was eight when he started smoking!) He also has leukemia. Thank goodness it’s the best kind you can have, according to his doctor. But it was still another factor to consider when looking at his treatment.

     As my whole family and many friends sat in the waiting room and prayed for my dad during the surgery, I was overwhelmed by the love shown to us. There were many phone calls checking on dad’s progress and assuring us of their continued prayers, lots of visitors giving hugs, and even an especially thoughtful gift given by the ladies from my church of a goodie bag filled with fruit, candy, bottled water and a Chick-fil-a giftcard. They didn’t want us to have to worry about finding change for the vending machines. That right there is a ministry in itself for those sitting hours in a hospital waiting room. It comforted me and my family to know others cared enough to take time out of their day to minister to us.

     After a very long surgery we were relieved when the doctor came out with good news. He felt they had gotten all the cancer and it was confined to one lung. They took out a large portion of that lung and said it would take him a full year to regain most of his strength.

     Several weeks later it was confirmed that he was completely cancer free and wouldn’t need any chemo or radiation .We were amazed by God’s grace and mercy.

     It was hard during the last year to watch Daddy go from being a strong and healthy man to one who was weak and struggled to walk any amount of distance without getting winded. But now he is strong again, back to doing all of the yard work and carpentry he has always loved.

     The past year has been a difficult one for our family, especially my mom. Other than dealing with my dad’s cancer, last March her only brother died unexpectedly and less than two months after that her mother passed away. So I’m sure this upcoming holiday season will be difficult.

     But we are grateful for those who are still with us, especially my dad. I know it could have gone the other way, and I praise God that He’s not finished with Daddy yet.

     So this Thanksgiving I want to say how grateful I am to God for my dad’s recovery and also for all of the loving friends and family who have supported us over this last year. You are definitely a special blessing to our family. May God bless all of you with a bountiful Thanksgiving, full of His love and grace. 

The God Who Sees

                     Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father 

               of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  ~  James 1:17     

     God showed up for me today. Not in a major rock your world type of miracle, but in a little thing I was disappointed about yesterday.   

     I know many of you ladies will understand my predicament. Several weeks ago I purchased a few items from a clothing store and received $30 in City Cash to use between a certain few days in November. However, these particular days happened to fall when I was out of town, had a sick child and an important doctor’s appointment. Yesterday was the last day I could use the reward. As I left the doctor’s office I had a choice to make - I could go into Greenville 20 minutes away at 4:00 in the afternoon to use the coupon or I could head the other direction toward the grocery store and make sure my family had something decent to eat for supper. I chose the latter. I was disappointed I hadn’t been able to use the “free money”, but knew my family would agree my time was better spent at the grocery store.

     I had forgotten all about it this morning as I was reading a chapter out of the The Pastor Driven Wife by Paula Russell and co-written by my friend Kim Aldrich. I was almost jealous as I read how God had worked in a particular situation during a Christmas party for inner city kids where Paula served. God provided a very specific need no one in the ministry was even aware of. Because that need was met through a loving group of people, God was glorified. All parties involved knew His hand had to have orchestrated the circumstances.

     As I reflected on all of the previous ways God had shown up in this woman’s life through the experiences she shared in the book, I realized how sporadic my prayer life has become. The reason Paula had seen God show up so much was because she had become dependent on Him. I’ve been wandering around aimlessly these last few weeks because I’ve been confused over the direction I’m supposed to go. But I also haven’t taken the time to say much more than a quick hello to God in the mornings – if that. How can God show up in my life when I'm not even paying attention?

     I immediately felt led to spend some time in prayer. At the close of my sweet time of prayer, I boldly asked God to show up in my life as He had for Paula.

     Lest you think I’ve never seen God’s hand at work in my life, I have. I’ve seen Him in many different, and even miraculous, ways. But I haven’t been experiencing Him like I used to. I know it’s my own fault. I’m the one who hasn’t been growing our relationship and today I realized how much I miss Him.

     A while later, as I was about to leave for a hair appointment in Greenville, I checked my e-mail. Lo and behold there was a message from the previously mentioned clothing store declaring they had extended their redemption of City Cash one more day! Since I was headed to Greenville I could stop on the way home and use it.

     I know this may seem a little shallow for a Christian woman to be sharing, but when I read that e-mail I knew it was a personal note from God saying He sees me and cares about even the smallest detail of my life. I’d made the right choice denying my wants yesterday and putting my family first and He honored that.  I wish I could say I prioritize well all the time, but I don’t.

     Things won’t always work out that well. Many times we make sacrifices and feel as if God doesn’t care. But He sees every sacrifice we make. He’s not a genie in a bottle, but He is our loving Father who cares enough to reveal Himself to us today and every day. Today it was through a coupon, who knows what it will be tomorrow.

How has God been revealing Himself to you lately? 

PS - Thanks, Kim, for sharing this wonderful and inspirational book with me!

Masterpiece

The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.  ~ Psalm 45:11 (NIV)

    

     I was disappointed. Due to a misunderstanding, we weren’t allowed in to our scheduled tour of the Supreme Court. Since the bus had already pulled away, we were at a loss until someone pointed out The Library of Congress and suggested we take that tour instead.

     Oh, brother, I moaned to myself, how exciting could that be?

     I love books and libraries more than most people, but this was my first trip to our nation’s capitol. I didn’t want to spend it in a dusty old library. As we entered the nondescript hallway, I wasn’t the least bit curious.

     The drab hallway opened into a magnificent Great Hall of marble. Soaring arched ceilings were supported by grand columns and covered in elaborate murals. I gasped. I’d never seen anything like this. The only thing comparable would have been the luxurious castles in Europe, but this wasn’t stuffy or cold. It was awe inspiring. The paintings, sculptures and architecture were incredible.

     Beautiful quotes and scriptures adorned almost every wall. My heart almost burst as I tried to take it in. Every room was spectacular – my senses came alive. I dared not miss anything.

     The climax of our tour was the Main Reading Room. As I stared at the bronze figures surrounding the balcony, I recognized several names - most notably Moses and Paul. In the heart of this magnificent library were two great men of the Bible. I stood in awe. Our founding fathers knew where to look for instruction and duty. It filled me with hope knowing our government was not derived from the musings of man, but the unshakable Word of God.

      I was grateful for the artists, architects and builders who brought this work of art to fruition. This awesome legacy was left not only to their families, but our nation’s children as well.

     As I left the building, I had a fresh perspective. From the outside, it looked stately, not unlike many buildings in Washington. I thought of my own Christian faith, viewed similar to that building by many, seeming dry and dusty. Our perspective changes once we accept Jesus. We see the beauty that abides within Him and long to absorb it all. I can never view my faith as dull because I know the Architect. Through His great love we are recognized as His masterpiece. Amazingly, God considers us more beautiful than any work of art in the Library of Congress. Do others see us as dry and dusty, or His divine inspiration? 

Do It Scared

Today is the first post for my new blog. I've never done anything like this before, so I've been intimidated to begin posting my thoughts for all to see. Each day when I log on, my blog tells me I haven't posted anything yet. This morning as I sat at my computer, I began procrastinating as I noticed the post button taunting me once again. Looking through some papers I had printed for safekeeping, one in particular jumped out at me and I began reading.

 It was the Clifton Strengthsfinder assessment. This is a test developed by The Gallup Organization which detects your dominant strengths and behaviors, or signature themes as they put it, in order to better yourself in your area of strengths. As I read my top five I was amazed how accurate this test is. My number one behavior is Input, meaning I am inquisitive and like to collect things, such as information, quotes, books, etc. From there it went to Belief, Responsibility, Focus and Communication. I do have a strong belief system and am dependable, almost to a fault sometimes. I am also goal oriented and love to communicate by bringing things to life for others.           

All of the descriptions were spot-on. As I pondered this I happened to looked at the date, October 1, 2008. Exactly four years ago today I took that assessment. I don't think it's a coincidence I noticed that date today. I've been struggling with this calling to speak and write for a little over one year now. As I've taken steps to learn the craft and delve into the tasks required to launch this ministry I am completely overwhelmed. I'll admit it. This whole thing scares me to death. I keep telling God I'm not a writer or a speaker, I'm an architect. And then He shows me at my greatest point of weakness where my strengths lie. He knew what He was doing when He created me: I love to collect words; what I do in life must be meaningful; I feel bound to follow things through to completion; I constantly make lists in order to focus; I strive to communicate in such a way as to inspire others.     

As I look over this list, I am humbled to see these are qualities of a good writer and speaker. God has been preparing me all along for this journey. I feel as ill-equipped as Moses pointing out to God He must have the wrong guy (or girl). But God is insulted when we don't believe Him. We are not fulfilling our purpose when we tell God we aren't capable and refuse to follow His will. He knows how incapable we are. That's the point. We cannot do this without Him. But He has and will equip us for whatever  He calls us to do. We must learn to trust and obey, even if we have to do it scared. After all, God really does know what He's doing.

Have a blessed day~ Carol

 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  ~Isaiah 41:10              

If you are interested in finding your own strengths, check out the book Strength's Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath and use the online access code to take the assessment